4th Of July 2017

 Hi and Happy 4th of July to my American friends and family,

 This is my page for today. This is Edna in Florida. I took this photo the first evening that I was there sitting out on her lovely porch. It is one of my favorites of her so I used it for my Celebration. We tried to watch the fireworks every night that we were there but missed a couple of the shows but for the most part, I really enjoyed the fireworks. I just do not enjoy them on July 4th.

 My dad died July 5th and I associate the 4th of being at the hospital with him every year. No matter how many times I say that I won't do it this year, I always do. Then Christmas is hard too because my mama died December 16th. Christmas is made easier because my mother loved Christmas so the joy and sadness is mingled. Bittersweet. I can still see the twinkle in her eye as she put out decorations and wrapped her gifts.
 She had  a collection as well. A Santa that played 2 or 3 songs, reindeer that danced, snow globes that changed color, angels, and snow men. She had all kinds of Christmas trees, from little ceramic ones to a big ceramic one that she put out every year and villages as well. She loved Christmas and so for her, knowing how much she did love the holiday makes it a lot easier for me.

 I tried to make today a good day, but it just didn't happen. I fought off one panic attack after another all afternoon. They just hit me out of the blue. I don't know where they came from or the trigger but I do know that it was really a hard day, but I made the best of it.
 I took a long hot shower, shaved my legs and put a long acting conditioner on my hair. I had a movie that I wanted to see and just couldn't get into it. I gave it about 15 or 20 minutes and I had enough of that so I put it on something a little happier. I crocheted and then I scrapped this page and that is really about it. Just keep looking at the clock waiting to take my night meds and go to sleep. These panic attacks truly drain me.

 I am so sorry that I am so far behind in my blog. I try, really I do, but there is just nothing to blog about. Or at least I don't feel that there really is. In fact the whole computer thing lately is just boring to me. I have a few sites that I go to and lately there has been nothing but politics and I am sick of that for sure. Every time I turn on my computer it is some thing glaring at me about what the President is doing. I don't care. If it was something important then I would care, but the crap that is being broadcast is just so stupid.

 You can't change who is in office or what they are doing. So why the obsession with a President that tweets? I for one do not care. And who cares where Chris Christi spent his 4th of July weekend? Now granted if Americans can't go to the beach, I think that he should have changed his plans and not have gone, but he did and so what? He does have a beach house on a private beach so..... He went, and he apparently didn't care that his Govt. shut down the state of New Jersey and closed all parks and beaches and museums and other places, but why keep it going and going and going? We need to be concerned about the real things happening in our country, not some Politician going to the Beach and a President that Tweets!

 I have a whole lot of doctor appointments to keep me busy this coming week. On the 10th I have morning labs and then meet with my diabetic coach. On the 11th I have to be at the Endoscopic Center at 5:00 am for the scope to check my ulcer. The next day on the 12th I have to be at the dentist for the removal of more teeth. 3 I hope and then I have the 13th at home and then another appointment on the 14th for my 4 month follow up on my labs and I think that I am going to ask her to cut back on some of my medication.

 I am sorry that my blog is so down trodden. I guess that my mood is showing thru so I am going to take my leave and go and find something else to do. I know that this will work it's self out on it's own. I just need to give it time.

 Please have a great week, or what is left of it. Until next time BB