Such A Beautiful Service

 Hello Everyone,

 No scrap page today. I did find this as I believe my brother James would have loved it. We are all still raw and hurting, but having the funeral yesterday has helped to start the healing process.

 The service was just so beautiful.The chapel was very nice and the pictures that they shared were so sweet. Some I had forgotten and some that I had never seen before. They didn't play traditional songs that we often hear played at funerals. Instead they played his favorite songs. One was by Conway Twitty. I will get a copy of the CD and the music CD as well.

 James looked very peaceful. His pain is over and I am so thankful. The eulogy was given by my sister Susanne and his grandson Forrest. Ohhh wow... such touching moments. There was a lot of tears but then again there was a lot of laughter. People shared some funny things, some shared some sweet things and his grandson Forrest, well he had to stop several times, he cried, but pulled it together and in the end he did a great job.

 The Military Ceremony was awesome. He didn't have the 21 gun salute because he didn't want to be buried at the Military Cemetery, but they played Taps, did the salutes and the flag ceremony. The immediate family got red and white roses, mine was white. The rest of the guests received red and white carnations. Some kept theirs. I almost did but in the end I followed with what my family did and that was to lay them on his coffin before burial.
 There was so many people that the church ran out of food.

 Now I have a story to tell. This is about me and some unknown man..... I swear that you cannot take me anywhere!!!!!!

 We took the shortest route to where we needed to go. We should have taken the interstate. Instead we were met with a lot of road construction and lots of small towns and speed limits that dropped from 70 to 35 in the blink of an eye. We had a lot of no passing and one lane roads. We got behind several pieces of farm equipment and truckers. We were constantly looking at the clock. We arrived 20 minutes before the service even tho we left in plenty of time.

 When we got there I was going into the entrance and this man was walking out. I swear he looked just like my brother in law Roger. The same height and the same long white beard.... I gave him a huge hug and he hugged me back.....
 I passed him several times and I hugged him again. Each time we passed I hugged him....
 When we were at the grave side I looked to my left and he was standing there with a lady and I thought how weird... I knew that my brother in law was a pall bearer... Uh ok... so I looked at the pall bearers and there was my brother in law.... I was sooooo embarrassed....

 Then at the dinner it just so happened that we sat at the tables next to each other and he was facing me and he got up and moved so his back was too me. LOL.... I will have to find out who he was. I was hugging a complete stranger! My sisters thought that it was hilarious....  Well I just know that my face was red!!!

 It was almost 10:00 when we got home. We gave my sister in law a ride back to the funeral home so she could get her car. So we stood in the parking lot and talked for awhile and I had some books for her and she had some for me.
 She told me that she would come and spend a few days with me. Karyn told her that she would bring me up to spend some time with her as well.

 Bonnie was wearing this really pretty necklace and ear rings, they were of an owl, yellow, blues and green. I said "Oh Bonnie, a little owl, how sweet." and she said "James gave me these for Christmas. He used his fuel miles to buy them for me". She said that they were special because he chose to use the mile points for her instead of something that he needed.

 Sadly so  many people left before we could get Family Pictures. A lot of pictures were taken but so far none have been posted on Facebook but Karyn did take some selfies of her and I. I was just getting into the car and she said Mama let's do some selfies. This is at the cemetery. I was not at my best but here they are...

I am not sure where Jonathan was.  I think that he was talking to Eddie, his cousin by the car. I had just walked from grave site. My sister in law told me to tell the kids and I to go ahead and go to the church. I stood outside waiting for Bonnie. She was at this point breaking down again and when she got there she and I found a table and Oh I forgot to mention, friends that I had not seen in years and years.
 Bonnie's sister in law Brenda and her husband Brad. I didn't get a chance to talk to Brad but Brenda and I had 2 or 3 great conversations, and then there was Alice... Oh Alice is such a trip. I was so glad to see her. She came and set at the table with me and Bonnie and Jonathan and my sister and her husband.
 I looked around for Karyn as she was sitting next to me so I could introduce her and she was gone. Jonathan said she went out to have a cigarette. Well I knew at this point that Karyn was very stressed as she does NOT smoke. But she did yesterday. I figured that it was time that we needed to leave but we were giving Bonnie a ride back to her car so we had to wait on her to finish saying goodbye to the rest of the family and guests. It was ok tho. Karyn took that time to take a mini cat nap in the car. She does that a lot. Mini cat naps.

 On to other news. My sugars are running very high. Due to my diet I know. I have to work on the root of the problem. So I had a doctors appointment today with a diabetic nutritionist. Now I know that it was sneaky of me but I made Jonathan go with me. Jonathan is my main grocery shopper and everything that he buys he is either (A) out of a box (B) pasta (C) corn and potatoes (D) breads..... plus a few more no no's.
 Well he heard first hand from the doctor today that he was high risk of developing diabetes and he heard first hand from her what I can eat and what I cannot eat.
 Education is the first form of understanding this horrid disease. It didn't matter if I said I am not supposed to eat this and yet he bought it anyway.  So I had to eat and in the process I was only adding to the problem so now he is more on board with understanding. He also committed himself to a few work shops that will help us both.

 Plus I have to motivate myself to exercising 15 to 20 minutes a day after each meal. Keep a log for the next 4 weeks and I am going to work on this. I am going to make it happen. I am going to get my sugars down below 200 and I am not going to eat what I know I cannot have. I can splurge once a month on something that I enjoy with in reason. I can once a month have  steak and baked potato or I can have a child size Mexican meal. But the main thing is to cut out all of the breads, crackers, pasta, corn and potatoes. No more of that not even in small portions for my daily meals. Once a month. And once I get use to getting this food out of my diet then the cravings for it will naturally go away.

 I found out a lot of useful information today as well due to the old rules of what I was allowed to have and now what is not recommended. For example I was told to always have a snack at bedtime. 4 saltine crackers and a slice of cheese or peanut butter. Not anymore. Now my bedtime snack is a quarter of an apple dipped in Almond butter or 1 ounce of white cheese and 9 grapes. A yogurt or a slice of fruit. 2 pieces of melon or a small peach. I can have all the veggies that I want anytime. As long as they are steamed or raw. Cherry tomatoes is a good choice.

 I have also changed to using coconut oil and was told today that it is an absolute NO NO!  Hmm so some things that are supposed to be good for me are not. I have to start using a different type of margarine. Smart Balance or Benecol, but one thing that I can have is sherbet. I found that strange but she said it is a thousand times better than eating 2 tablespoons of ice cream. I can have a quarter of a cup of sherbet earlier in the day. Not at bedtime and of course she pushed the water.

 We talked of my sleeping patterns and she recommends that I talk to the mental physchrist to help me develop a sleeping pattern. She would like to see me in bed by 10:00 pm and up by or around 7:00 am and if I am in a lot of pain or just feel that I do have to have a nap then it is to be no longer than an hour.

 I will find this hard because this is my quiet time. The time that I catch up on emails, or work on my blog, or read the news or just relax, but I have known for a while that I have to get on a better sleep schedule. The people that I enjoy talking to are on a total different time zone. Most of them are over the pond so I am going to have to adjust that. And my friends in California will either have to call me before 8:00 pm or wait until the next day. I have to take control and I have to work hard at taking care of my needs.
 There will be days tho that will be hit and miss because of the pain that I have. I will have to work on that as well. I have also signed up with some other resources to get me out and busy more. Ride Wth A Senior will be a good start. They have a full list of activities once a month and a new calendar each month so that is going to be a big help to me.
 Also I am going to work at getting to the office at least 3 times a week to work out and even if it is just for a few minutes at a time I will gain more strength and she put me in touch with a swimming team and coach. They do water exercises and they also do laps and such.

 It is up to me. 99% of everything that I do or consume is at my control. I have just not been serious about any of it. Not really. It is so easy just to give up when people around me do not listen. For example Jonathan. How many nights have we had pasta such as spaghetti or a pan of cornbread and beans for dinner? Too many. Or sometimes just a box of Mac and Cheese or a frozen dinner. It will help now that he knows that it is hurting me and him as well.

 Well gosh I have spent a long time on this blog so I am going to share a couple of quick funnies from the internet and I am going to bed.... Hugs to all.....

 Now isn't that just too cute....????

 I really love this. I would love to do this with my sisters or my daughters and grand daughters.

 I cannot help but to love this photo.... It is so precious.... and they look so much alike...!

 And with this ending with my brothers printed pamphlet. I am sure that James will have a place in my blog posts for a while yet. Please understand that this is a part of my healing and grieving process.... Blessed Be to all.... Remember to be kind to one another. It is the best gift that you can ever give to anyone. Also remember that those you love need you. Not only when they are sick but every chance that you have to say I love you, I am thinking of you.... So for all of my friends and family, I truly love and treasure each of you.... BB